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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131030">The Cost of War</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelsbatmanboxers/pseuds/ZukosSecondSword'>ZukosSecondSword (michaelsbatmanboxers)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath, Big Brother Sokka (Avatar), Forgiveness, Guilt, Moving On, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Sokka (Avatar), Survivor Guilt, aftermath of war, he's not even in this but i hate him</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:23:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,738</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131030</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelsbatmanboxers/pseuds/ZukosSecondSword</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sokka would give anything to have been the one that fell. But life goes on.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang &amp; Sokka (Avatar), Katara &amp; Sokka (Avatar), No Romantic Relationship(s), Sokka &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong &amp; Sokka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Cost of War</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>it's my birthday so legally you have to read this :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They were cornered. Sokka’s arm was wrenched back as far as it could go, a stinging pain shooting up from his shoulder. He takes a deep, shuddering breath, forcing his voice to stay stable. </span>
  <em>
    <span>For her sake. She can’t see anything, all she has… is me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His voice sounds foreign to him as he stares at the fire nation soldiers, as he stares his destiny - </span>
  <em>
    <span>their </span>
  </em>
  <span>destiny - in the eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think boomerang is coming back, Toph,” he calls over his shoulder. “It looks like this is the end.” He can feel his grip slipping, the sweat of his nerves and the fatigue of battle catching up and compromising his hold on her hand. He looks over his shoulder, sparing one last glance at the young girl below him, her face wet with tears but her jaw set with determination, holding on to him for dear life. He throws a last ditch prayer to the heavens, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tui and La, if I ever meant anything to you… save her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The spirits never listen, do they? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka jolts up in his bed, gasping for breath, Toph’s screams echoing in his ears. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Toph!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>His shout echoes in the empty room as he jolts back to reality, his eyes darting around frantically. The door swings open, a couple Kyoshi warriors rushing in to secure his room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ambassador Sokka!” One of them rushes to his side, laying a hand on his shoulder as the rest fan out to search for the cause of his disturbance. “Are you alright?” Sokka waves her off, unable to bring himself to look her in the eye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, Suki.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you have another nightmare?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I said I’m fine! Get out!” He didn’t mean to snap, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>spirits</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he needs some alone time. Suki tucks a stray hair behind his ear before pulling away, shouting a quick order to the rest of the warriors, and stepping out the door. As it clicks shut behind them, Sokka pulls himself to his feet, stumbling into the bathroom. As far as sleeping places, this one was far from the worst. Zuko sure knew how to treat an ambassador. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka rests his hands against the sink, dragging his gaze to meet his reflection in the mirror. His broad frame stared back at him, hunched over the sink, with bags under his eyes, a permanent fixture since that final day of the war. He pulls his hair from the knot he had set it in, watching as it falls to his shoulders. He can just hear Toph’s voice teasing him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on Snoozles! Get that wig off’a your head! You look like a reject badgermole!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka splashes some cold water against his face and squeezes his eyes shut, willing the fog that’s settled over his brain to clear. Sokka sighs, slumping against the sink again. “Spirits, I can’t stop hearing her fuckin’ voice.” Sokka takes a deep breath over ten beats, then releases it over five. “What would ‘Tara say?” Sokka pulls his eyes open again, meeting his gaze in the mirror again, channeling Katara. He sets a hand on his hip, pulling a finger in front of himself and pointing sternly into the mirror. “You just need to go to bed! You’re exhausted! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends, idiot!” By the end of his sentence, his voice has dropped from the raised octave, his hand falling back to his side. “This isn’t working, ‘Tara. I’m going to get some work done.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He steps out of the bathroom, plodding his way over to the desk that’s sitting in front of his window. His gaze drags over the royal gardens, catching sight of Zuko walking around in the dark. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What’s he doing out there? </span>
  </em>
  <span>As if feeling Sokka’s gaze, Zuko turns to the window, raising a hand in greeting. Sokka glances at the door behind him, reaching forward to unlatch it and leaning through the window. “What’s up, Jerk-Lord Zuko? What’re you doing up?” Zuko laughs, stepping closer and craning his neck to look up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could ask the same thing, Ambassador Sucker.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have to work on your insults.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up. You coming out here or not?” Sokka glances behind him again, climbing through his window carefully, then jumping down to join Zuko. “About time, slowpoke.” Sokka sighs, straightening himself up and offering his arm to Zuko. Zuko takes it with a soft smile, leading Sokka through the gardens. After walking in silence for a minute, Zuko speaks up again. “So, you never answered my question,” he points out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I asked first,” Sokka shoots back, swooping down to pick up a rock and pausing to skip it across the pond. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I suppose you did.” Zuko sits on a bench nearby, tilting his head as he watches Sokka search for more stones. “I couldn’t sleep.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I figured.” Sokka throws another stone, watching it skip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I keep…” Zuko sighs, shaking his head. “I keep having these </span>
  <em>
    <span>dreams. </span>
  </em>
  <span>About that final Agni Kai with-” He cuts himself off, crossing his arms over his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zukes…” Sokka joins him on the bench, resting a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “You couldn’t have helped her. She was too far gone.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She deserved a second chance. It didn’t need to be like this.” Zuko turns away from Sokka, staring at the bush next to them. Sokka heaves out a sigh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right. It’s… it’s not fair.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… what about you?” Zuko finally turns back to Sokka, softness and curiosity dancing in his gaze. “What’s the honorable ambassador doing up so late?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It- I had that dream again.” It was Sokka’s turn to break eye contact, his gaze falling to his lap and his shoulders slumping. “I can’t stop. Everytime I close my eyes, I see her face.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know you couldn’t have done anything different.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I had held on for like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>two more seconds</span>
  </em>
  <span>…” Sokka stands up, kicking against the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sokka-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She was </span>
  <em>
    <span>13, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Zuko. I was the only thing she had in that moment, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>I fucking failed her.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you were 15. You-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She trusted me!” Sokka jumps to his feet, stepping a few strides away and tugging his fingers through his hair, pulling a deep breath in. “I was her lifeline, and I… I failed.” There’s some shuffling from behind him, before Zuko’s hand comes to rest on his back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did so much good to end the war.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I didn’t do enough.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t save everyone.” Zuko’s rubbing Sokka’s shoulders, a frown pulling across his pale features. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I…” Sokka turns away, crossing his arms. “I barely saved anyone. I fucked up the invasion, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>barely </span>
  </em>
  <span>stopped Jet from drowning all of those villagers, I fucked up the defense of Ba Sing Se, I fucked up the battle on the airship, I fucked up the defense of the northern water tribe and fucking let Yue die, and I let Toph die.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know you had far more successes than you did failure,” Zuko points out. “You can’t keep carrying around this guilt. The war ended five years ago, Sokka.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you not still blame yourself? Don’t you still think the whole fucking thing was </span>
  <em>
    <span>your fault</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Sokka shoots back, his voice undercut with bitterness. “Don’t you still blame yourself for Azula?” Zuko stiffens at that, biting his bottom lip. When he finally speaks again, his voice is carefully steady. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s different.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How? Because your </span>
  <em>
    <span>father </span>
  </em>
  <span>started the war, you get a monopoly on being upset with what happened?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This was a mistake.” Sokka turns away from Zuko, storming towards the open window. “Goodnight, Your Highness,” he snaps behind him, wasting no time scaling the side of the building again and sliding back in his room. As he turns to shut the window behind him, he catches sight of Zuko, standing where he left him with a shocked expression stuck on his face. Sokka pulls the curtains shut quickly, collapsing against his bed with his face hiding in his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was a dick move, Snoozles.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, Toph.” Sokka slaps at his forehead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s sitting in front of her grave, his feet crossed underneath him, a half empty bottle of sake next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy bir...thday, Tophers,” he sighs softly, pouring a bit of the strong drink out, watching as it soaks in the soil, seeping its way down. Sokka can imagine it trickling all the way through to her coffin, he can imagine the grin on her face, he can imagine taking her out for her first drink, he can imagine her squinting as the burn washes over her tongue. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That tastes terrible, Snoozles!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but we don’t drink it for the taste,” he answers himself, his chin resting on his hand. He can hear footsteps behind him, but can’t bring himself to look up until the intruder settles themselves next to him. Sokka glances over as Katara rests her head on his shoulder, sliding her arms through his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Sock,” she speaks softly, delicately, as if she’s scared to break him. “I thought I might find you here.” Sokka sighs, taking a swig of sake, his eyes screwing up. “How much of that have you had today?” He shrugs, avoiding her questioning gaze. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh… I’ve been shaw-sharing it with Toph.” Katara glances from her brother’s swaying form to the wet spots littering the soil over Toph’s grave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She wouldn’t have been old enough to drink.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s dead, so what-” he hiccups, his eyes filling with tears. “What does it matter?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She wouldn’t want you to keep blaming yourself.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How am I s</span>
  <em>
    <span>h</span>
  </em>
  <span>upposed to stop? If it were </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>else, she would’ve s...urvived.” Sokka crosses his arms, his eyes narrowing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She </span>
  <em>
    <span>trusted me, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tara. And I failed her. She was- she was like a baby sister to me.” Sokka goes limp, his head falling into his hands. Katara sits in silence next to him, before finally answering softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am </span>
  </em>
  <span>your baby sister, Sock.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I couldn’t even help you!” Sokka pushes himself to his feet, stumbling away from her. “You’re only fuck-” he hiccups again. “Fucking alive be-because </span>
  <em>
    <span>Zuko</span>
  </em>
  <span> took lightninnng for you. He killed h-his own s</span>
  <em>
    <span>h</span>
  </em>
  <span>is</span>
  <em>
    <span>h</span>
  </em>
  <span>ter to save you!” Sokka stumbles, falling to a knee, and his arms cross over his stomach. “I fucked boff of it up.” He reaches around, searching for the bottle, and glances behind him to realize it’s still sitting next to Katara. He lets out a defeated groan, letting himself fall face first against the grass, the ground muffling his sobs. “She’s s</span>
  <em>
    <span>h</span>
  </em>
  <span>upposed to be here, ‘Tara.” Katara joins him, rubbing his back comfortingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, Sokka, I know,” she mumbles, pulling his head into her lap. “Let it out.” Sokka pulls his arms up, circling them around her waist, his tears soaking Katara’s lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wh-what are you… doing here?” Sokka finally asks, pulling his watery gaze up to meet hers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zuko sent for us. He said you were having a… rough time.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We had one fight, so he runs to you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not just the fight. He said you haven’t been showing up to meetings, you haven’t been doing your paperwork, you-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So he s</span>
  <em>
    <span>- s- s</span>
  </em>
  <span>ent you to tell me how much more I fail more.” Sokka rolls off her lap, his gaze unfocused and aimed at the sky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. He sent me to </span>
  <em>
    <span>help </span>
  </em>
  <span>you… we know you get a bit down around this time of year.” Katara speaks carefully, pausing before every other word, weighing her messages carefully. “I just want you to be okay again.” Sokka pulls away from her with a look of indignation, pulling himself to his feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I want her to be alive, but we don’t-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sokka-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>We don’t get what we want, Katara.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sokka does his best to storm off, but his stomach is churning and the world is spinning, using him as an axis, and- Sokka hunches over, his body attempting to purge itself of the poison he’d been consuming all day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sokka, you shouldn’t have drank so much!” Sokka looks up in an attempt to respond, but can only throw up more. Katara steps up beside him, rubbing his back again. “Get it all out. Just get it all out.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Haha! Snoozles can’t hold his liquor!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, Toph,” he manages to force out between retches, earning a confused look from Katara.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka’s sitting cross-legged across from Aang, his eyes shut, the wind rushing around him. He takes a deep breath in, enjoying the crisp air filling his lungs, before slowly releasing it. He opens an eye, glancing around, before letting out a monumental sigh. “It’s not working, Aang.” Aang jumps, losing his own concentration. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude- it’s not a one and done thing. It takes a while to get into the spirit world.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s the point of this, anyway?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Tara said you spoke as if Toph was there with you guys. I think…” Aang sighs. “I know it sounds dumb, but I think she might be stuck in the spirit world. Maybe if you two talk, you can-” Sokka pushes himself to his feet, walking a few paces away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not. I can’t… even if she </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>there, I can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>face her</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Not after what I did to her.” Sokka crosses his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really think it’ll help you lose this guilt. It’s your best shot, Sokka.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop saying my name like that!” Sokka snaps, turning on his heel. “Everyone acts like I’m a breath away from breaking, but-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve already broken, Sokka,” Aang answers, a hint of frustration sneaking into his voice. “You’ve been broken for years! You’re drinking yourself half to death, the job you worked your ass off for is slipping through your fingers, and you’re treating your friends like </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit.</span>
  </em>
  <span> You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>already broken. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Let us help put you back together!” Sokka turns to the younger boy, letting out a soft sigh as the reality of his words sink in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...fine.” He steps back over to Aang, settling across from him, and returning to his starting position. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. Now resume the breathing technique, and focus.” With a long breath out, Sokka’s eyes slide shut, and he resumes meditating. After what feels like only a few minutes, but could very well be hours, Sokka feels his surroundings shift. His eyes fly open and he glances around, finding himself standing in an open field. He swivels his head around, looking for a sign of Aang, but he’s alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s fuckin’ great,” he huffs with a roll of his eyes. He turns around on his heel, picks a direction, and starts walking. “I guess this feels ‘right’.” After plodding along a couple paces, his surroundings change completely. “I’m in a fuckin forest now?” From further in the forest, he hears a shout. Without a second thought, Sokka takes off running, jumping over vines and dodging around trees. As he gets closer, the shouting devolves into wild giggling, moving away from him as he gets closer and closer. He doesn’t know who, or what’s ahead, but he knows all the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sokka bursts through some underbrush into a clearing, whipping his head around frantically. He can still hear the giggling, but… </span>
  <em>
    <span>above?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sokka cranes his neck up, his eyes widening as something jumps out from the trees. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oomph.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Sokka hits the ground with a thud, his eyes peeling open to meet a pair of cloudy grey eyes. “Toph?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About time, Snoozles!” Toph bats him upside the head. “I’ve only been waiting for like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>five years.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Sokka forces himself into a sitting position, his eyes widening. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Spirits, she looks exactly the same. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Toph, how-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bah- don’t worry about the how. Worry about the </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span>. As in- </span>
  <em>
    <span>why am I still here?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Toph pushes his shoulder. “I should be living it up in whatever afterlife there is, not stuck in this…” she pauses, searching for the word. “This purgatory.” Sokka chuckles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think Aang would appreciate you calling the spirit world ‘purgatory’.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aang Schmang,” Toph snorts. “So, you’re here. You dead too?” Sokka crosses his arms over his chest, his eyebrows pulling together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About that- Toph, I’m-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes or no question, buddy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. Aang wanted me to come see you.” Sokka stuffs his hands in his pockets, looking away from Toph. “He said something about how ‘my guilt is ruining my relationships with the living,’ and ‘if I don’t work through this soon I never will and I’ll end up being an alcoholic that no one likes’.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t sound like twinkle toes to me.” Toph raises her eyebrow, squinting in Sokka’s direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I may have ad libbed a little.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leave the improv to the semi-professionals.” Sokka can’t stop the grin pushing up his lips, scratching at the back of his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, maybe I should.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what’s this about ‘guilt’? Your life’s great! What do you have to feel guilty about?” Toph asks, sliding her arms around Sokka’s and pulling him to the ground. </span>
  <em>
    <span>People really like holding onto my arm. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh- Toph, do you remember…” He pauses, considering his wording. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spit it out, sparkles.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you remember how you died?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I totally forgot.” Toph shoves him, narrowing her gaze in his direction. “Of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course</span>
  </em>
  <span> I remember, it’s only like, the biggest thing that happened to me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how the whole… being dead thing works!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what about it?” Sokka sighs, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I fucked up, Toph. I- I let you go.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t let me go. I slipped.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should’ve-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should’ve what? Grown wings and flown down to catch me? Because if you were able to do that, then I’m a little pissed you didn’t. If not, then drop it!” Toph shoots, rolling her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t blame me?” Sokka turns to face her, his eyebrows pulling together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean…” Toph pulls her knees to tuck under her chin. “I did at first, but… You get five years to think and you realize some things. Besides, I’ve been watching you, and you’re obviously not over it.” Toph shrugs. “What were you supposed to do?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should’ve had a back up plan.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We were kids, Sokka.” She rests her hand on his arm, her gaze fixed on a point she’ll never be able to see. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>were just a child. You can’t be blamed for not assuming I was going to die.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All I do is bring death,” Sokka sighs, burying his head in his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Name three examples.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You, Yue, and…” Sokka pauses, his eyebrows pulling together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Exactly, it only happened twice. And neither of those times were even you! You just happened to be around!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But nothing!” Toph jumps to her feet. “You did everything you could! I forgave you a long time ago, so why can’t you just forgive yourself?” Sokka looks at the ground, shrugging slightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… I don’t know. I just feel like… you trusted me to protect you.” Toph rests a hand on his shoulder, a soft smile breaking through her energetic facade. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did trust you, Sokka. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> trust you. You protected me best you could, and more than that, you comforted me.” Sokka glances up at her. “In those final moments, when you spoke… when you told me it was the end,” she pauses, taking a deep breath in through her nose. “Yeah, it sucked. But as I was hanging there, unable to see, the only thing I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>absolutely sure of</span>
  </em>
  <span> was that in that moment… you were the only one I would’ve wanted by my side. I knew as long as you were there… </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone </span>
  </em>
  <span>did their best to save me.” She blinks a couple times, some tears dripping down her cheeks. “I died knowing I was loved enough for someone to spend their final moments with me. I died knowing what it was like to have… to have a big brother who would lay down his life for me, who would do anything in his power to die so I could live.” Toph shrugs, rubbing at her face. “Of course… It didn’t quite work out that way, and I’m okay with that. You just need to learn to be okay with it too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you… Do you really feel that way?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I just thought if I spouted off some bullshit you’d move on and I’d be able to leave this fuckin place.” Toph punches his shoulder again. “Of course I do.” She drops next to him again, curling into his side. Sokka slips an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I miss you, Tophers.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I miss you too, loser. But you’ve got a whole life to live. Don’t throw it away for me.” Sokka blinks a couple times, finally noticing how wet his face is. He reaches up to wipe a few tears away, smiling at the back of Toph’s head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. But you better tell all of those cool people you meet in the afterlife about me. You better tell them how you saw me as a brother-figure.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a bother figure more than anything. Besides, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t fucking see you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Toph waves a hand frantically in front of her eyes, huffing in irritation. “Jerk.” Sokka pulls himself to his feet, reaching a hand out to help Toph up after him, pulling her into a tight hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Toph.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, snoozles. Now let me go.” Sokka gives her a tight squeeze one last time, before finally letting his arms fall to his side, stepping back a couple paces. Toph grins in his direction as she starts fading from view, cheering and whooping as she’s finally able to move on. Sokka can feel a couple more tears slip from his eyes, but more bittersweet than plain bitter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see you on the other side, Toph.” He stands there for a while, staring at the space where her image faded, and his mind finally lapsed into a comfortable silence. Sokka blinks a few more times and turns around, walking back the way he came. </span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he returns to the ‘real’ world, night’s fallen, and Sokka’s exhausted. Without speaking to Aang further than reassurance that everything’s okay, despite the tears coursing down his cheeks, he pulls himself to his chambers. He nods at Suki as he closes the doors behind him, plodding to his bed, and collapsing into the first uninterrupted sleep he’s had in five long years. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
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